Del Mar Fair

Spent the weekend in San Diego. It was a good coming back from being gone for a month. Did all the usual; phils, golden city, tea station, pool hall, shogun, etc etc. Yesterday I went to the del mar fair with yani, chris, sing, nancy, eugene, and kent. It was loaaads of fun but also loaads of money. haha It did help me get my mind off all the shit i have to take care of in the following month.

Today I go back to Irvine to work.... =( I wish I could just stay in San Diego and work at Shogun and be carefree as I usually am. Don't want to go back to Irvine and start a new job.

Old enough to know but young enough not to care

I know the above saying sounds rather shameless and overly ignorant but it really pains me on how true it is. I'm turning 20 in about 2 more days...and its astonishing to think how some things just never seem to change. I know we all learn new lessons on a day to day basis but our personalities and our ways of thinking really prevent so many of us from actually growing up. I feel at this age we all know from right and wrong...and what actions we should take.

but....

knowing is only the easy part...the difficult part is learning how to obey that little voice we hear inside our head. Its taken me 20 years to finally know most right and wrong; what actions to take during certain situations, but i wonder how many more years itll take for me to be able to mature enough so I can be able to follow through with what I know to be right.

I leave Japan tomorrow. Kent is picking me up at the airport. My mom's birthday is the next day. The day after that is my birthday and am planning to celebrate it in SD :] As much as I love my grandpa and Japan, I am freaking STOKED to be going back home <3

Nature and all its bliss

Today was my last day in Hamamatsu with my Grandpa. Tomorrow I'm leaving for Maki's and staying there for the rest of my trip. I went to a flower garden today with my grandpa. It was absoluuuutely beautiful. Covered with trees and nothing but flowers and nature. All you can hear is the sound of water flowing and birds chirping. Its a shame that you would have to go on a journey to find a place as peaceful in San Diego or even all of So Cal. Sometimes I think of myself as a city girl, but I think in the end I would rather leave somewhere with more tranquility.

This stay with my grandpa was really refreshing and a big change compared to my drama filled fast paced life back home. From school, work, community service, and socializing its good to just sit back and do nothing for a change. After so much relaxing, the thought of having to go back to the US and go back to work, find a new apartment, and move sounds a wee bit stressful. Not to mention, I have relationship issues I still need to clear out.

I can't wait to be back in my own hometown but at the same time i'm really going to long for the quiet and relaxation of being here.

Ode to Joy

So today i was having one of those days. where you feel the world has turned on you and you would rather just crawl inside your bed for the rest of the day...maybe even the entire week. What I failed to realize was that all the 'issues' I was having were not problems at all....they were just all misinterperated blessings. A nagging mom, a pestering grandpa, time of the month, and painful jaw. It was really getting on my nerves but after calming down and getting my mind off of it for several hours I realized I wasn't seeing the issues for what they really were; A worried mother, an anxious grandpa, a healthy body, and recovery of a wisdom tooth extraction. All of which I should be completely grateful for... aside from the extraction. (Although I guess I should be thankful).

Most of the time when I'm having those days. All I have to do is pause and rethink my life and I soon realize I am truly lucky....... but its so hard to find the pause button in such a fast passed life we all live in these days. So for the rest of my time in Japan I'm going to try to cherish the time I have here and the time I have left with my grandpa. I didn't realize till today that I hadn't been in Japan for 3 years. No wonder he is bouncing up and down the walls trying to keep me happy.

I wish I had realized this all sooner =( I feel bad for not having spent more time with him. We are going out to lunch tomorrow though and then after my dentist appointment I promised to cook him dinner. This time I'm not going to fuck it up!!! ♥

Stuffed nose and brain

My japan trips are always way too long for my liking. This trip has been especially worse than usual. Not that I dont like being in Japan...but it gets rather boring spending coutnless number of days just chilling with relatives. Especially this year when the only one I'm spending time with is my grandpa.

What makes it even worse is that I've caught myself yet another cold and I just recently got one of my wisdom teeth removed. My laptop and my neighbor's stolen internet are my only two saviors. Thankfully, next week i'll finally be able to go to Maki's and spend the rest of my trip there. I just hope this damn annoying sore throat will be gone by the time i leave.

ahhhhh im too drugged up on painkillers to write about much else.